Monday, August 22, 2011

What's wrong with raccoons anyway?

Nebraska Attorney General Jon Bruning has issued an apology after comparing welfare recipients to hungry raccoons during a campaign speech.

More: http://www.abajournal.com/news/article/nebraska_attorney_general_criticized_for_comparing_welfare_recipients_to_hu/

If it's any comfort to the offended welfare recipients, I'd like to say that I admire raccoons. Here's why:

This summer I was trying to trap a groundhog that was eating my wife's herb garden. Instead, I caught a raccoon. This was on a Sunday. My plan was to call the township's animal warden on Monday to come pick it up. The raccoon had other ideas. He (she?) started rolling the cage across the lawn, toward the bushes and trees out back. Don't know what it thought it would do when it got there. But in the meantime, it (and the trap) were tearing a swath through my grass. In despair, I had to risk life and limb --- well, fingers anyway --- to release the beast. Score one for Rocky.

Now, if Bruning had compared welfare recipients to groundhogs, that would be a rodent of a different color. My elusive groundhog, at least, is basically a big blob of fat and mangy fur. No one should have to be likened to that brute.

Vut raccoons? Well, they're kind of cool, what with their bandit masks and big, striped tails and all. And, after all, the Beatles didn't sing the story of Greg Groundhog.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wNRH7_Kd5Yc



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