Welcome ----- from Toby Rice Drews--- author of "Getting Them Sober", the million-selling series of books endorsed by 'dear Abby', Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, and Melody Beattie, author of "Codependent No More"
A.)) Welcome to the more than 20,000 recipients of this newsletter.......most of whom are mental-health and health professionals, educators, clergy, family members, and recovering alcoholics.
*** Please forward this newsletter on to those who may benefit from it.
B.)) I'M SO OFTEN CONTACTED AND ASKED, "How are the books different from each other? What's in them?"
So, here, below, are the chapter titles in each of the books......... they, more than anything, describe what the contents are and what makes them all so different from each other.
*** THE BOOKS ARE EACH $9.95
The "Getting Them Sober, volume one" book is endorsed by 'Dear Abby', by Dr. Norman Vincent Peale, and by Melody Beattie, author of "Codependent No More"---- who said, '' 'Getting Them Sober' is the BEST book for the family of the still-drinking alcoholic'.
The chapter titles are-----------
No more taking the blame for someone else's drinking!
Be gentle with yourself
Don't worry about whether he's really an alcoholic
Don't pour out the booze
Learn to relax
Don't be afraid of losing him because you're changing
Stop arguing with him (it works!)
Do one thing every day just for yourself
Use tough love
Don't ride with him when he's drunk
Confront him!
Walk away from abuse
Accept yourself
Don't believe "Drunk Is Fun!"
Tell your families? Only if you want to!
Mean what you say and say what you mean
Deal with his arrogance!
Don't change your address!
Hide the car keys?
You have the right to get sick too!
Learn about blackouts
Try to remember it's a disease
Let the crises happen
No more lying to his boss!
Start to get help---- Even though he's the alcoholic
Stay with him or leave him "Just for today"
Break out of your isolation
Stop asking permission!
Act as if you love you
Put him in the back of your mind
Don't feel guilty when you're mad!
Forget his bad mouth
Don't say you're changing-----just do it
Stop telling him how to get sober (don't talk to brick walls, either)
Don't get scared when he threatens to drink
Wipe out saying, "you've been drinking again!"
Don't expect him to be sober
Stop checking the bars
Don't beg him to stay
Don't be scared that he will leave if he gets well
Getting Help
Sex and alcoholism
A Quick Test--- Are you an alcoholic?
Reflection Guide
Resource Directory
chapter titles in the "Getting Them Sober, volume 2" book are:
Your children
Adult children of alcoholics
What if you are separated and youralcoholic says he'll get help?
What to expect from your spouse's sobriety
His 'good stuff' is as hooking as his 'bad stuff'
Carrying excited misery into your next relationship
Being good to yourself is your quickest and best therapy
How do I know if he's sincere this time about staying sober?
If it's good for you--- it's good for him
Verb-love versus noun-love
Nothing makes you feel crazier than sexual games
If your alcoholic spouse---or someone else---says you have a drinking and/or pill problem, too
Could you be hiding behind your religion?
Intervention: forcing the alcoholic to get sober
Trust your gut feeling in working with professionals
The alcoholic and the kids vs. "mean mommy"
Praying for people you justifiably resent
Dealing with irrational guilt
Saying alcoholism is a disease goes deeper than we think
You're not trapped
From rage to pity---a trap
Getting help
If you and the alcoholic are separated and you cannot stop being afraidor angry
Will counseling help a drinking alcoholic?
Vacillation is okay--- you're not crazy
If you're re-married to your second alcoholic, or you're re-married the same one, or you're dating a man with a drinking problem
chapter titles in the "Getting Them Sober, volume 3" book are:
Family "gang-up" against the non-alcoholic parent
Is alcoholism a moral issue?
If you are the adult child of an alcoholic, and are married to an alcoholic, don't compare your progress in treatment with those who had a "normal upbringing"
When recovered alcoholics who need to go to Al-Anon hesitate to do so
We attach so much importance to what he says and does
For the man involved with a woman alcoholic
If you're bored by nice men, or if you're "just going with" an alcoholic
If you're a helping professional who has clients who are alcoholic, new in treatment, and married to a still-drinking alcoholic
Dealing with your alcoholic child when your spouse also has a drinking problem
From 'pity to punish'
"Why do I have to go to Al-Anon? I know what to do now!"
More on detachment
The alcoholic is so very predictable
Interviews with experts
DETAILED LISTING OF THE 350 SECONDARY DISEASES/DISORDERS TO ALCOHOLISM
chapter titles in the "Getting Them Sober, volume 4" book are:
Everybody blames the family
Don't try to make sense out of their nonsense
Knowing that it's hard to lose an alcoholic, helps us to calm down and keep us on the recovery path
The irregular behavior of the alcoholic keeps us attached
The alcoholic does not exist separately from the alcoholism
Excited misery keeps us attached to the alcoholic
Our need to caretake keeps us attached to the alcoholic
Facing our illusions ends their power to hurt us
Quick ways to detach
"I had to stop 'being so strong' so I could get the help I needed"
Remember the facts
It's YOUR decision whether or not to separate---- it's not your counselor's decision
Perfectionism
Courage to change the things we can
"I was able to decide to leave, even though he was sober and I was physically ill"
Share your story with discretion
What are examples of crazymaking that counselors should inherently know in order for us to trust their advice-giving?
"How counseling helped me decide"
"But he looks so good since we're separated. Maybe he's not an alcoholic?"
"But he's drinking less since we're separated. Can he be getting better?"
"I can't stop being angry with him!"
"When I see my alcoholic husband and he's nice to me, I get upset!"
"I can't forgive him"
"My denial, my compassion, and my guilt pulled me down into it with him, again"
"I've dropped the divorce proceedings six times, now"
"I feel guilty because I think I didn't do enough to make him want to be sober"
"I left a sober alcoholic"
"If I give up obsession, do I have to give up hope?"
"How can I help him after we're separated?"
What are the real problems about dating again?
Answering your legal questions about alcoholism, divorce, children, and court-ordered evaluations
Intervention
chapter titles in the "Get Rid of Anxiety and Stress" book are:
Your nervous system
Obsession
Hysterical personality
Living with exacerbating problems
Was your parent an alcoholic? a batterer? a schizophrenic?
Surgery after surgery
Crazy-making spouses
Loneliness
Mercurial personality
Suppressed rage
Paranoid thoughts
Agoraphobia and other phobias
Acceptance
Dialoguing
Choosing a nurturing partner
Keep it simple
Tranquilizers
Helping groups
Biofeedback and relaxation
Work it down
Keep 50% of yourself out of other people, places, and situations
Slippery places
Forgive yourself
Trust yourself
See others as emotionally "right-sized"
Accept death
Take steps before you are ready
Be good to yourself
Avoid excited misery
Help others
Gratitude
There's no bad way to get serenity
Creativity--- a double-edged sword
This, too, will pass
Building up to an anxiety attack
Do you think you're different?
Beyond survival
Getting help
Suggested readings
chapter titles in the "Sex and the Sober Alcoholic" book are:
Is sober-sex terrifying?
Sex and "games" and recovery
Adult children of alcoholics--- guilt, shame, abuse, and isolation
Adult daughters of alcoholics and the mistress-compulsion
Replacing the excitement of sickness
AIDS: Families of alcoholics --- hidden-high-risk group?
Notes to family counselors and their clients
chapter titles in the "Getting Your Children Sober" book are:
Three parents tell their stories
Is it "just a phase"?
Parents are not guilty---the genetic facts about alcoholism
Why most therapies haven't been able to help
Suicide, therapy, and other teen issues: young A.A. members anonymously tell their stories
Intervention
Tough love is too tough for most of us with our children---- how professionals can help do the intervention for you
During treatment and after----- the recovery process continues
If your child is also mentally-ill
Caught in the middle-----when adult children of alcoholics are also parents of alcoholic children
Alcoholic 'games'----when your alcoholic ex-spouse adds to your troubles
Surrounded by alcoholism---- if your spouse AND children are alcoholic
Recovering alcoholics deal with their children's alcoholism
No need for shame----- if your child is violent
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TO ORDER BOOKS -------- http://www.gettingthemsober.com/order.html
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C.)) ALSO--------- All of the books are in the process of becoming available also as e-books.
Here are the links to 4 of the books that are now available on Kindle-------
"Getting Them Sober, volume one" ----------
http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Them-Sober-help-ebook/dp/B004USP5GW/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1304401097&sr=1-1
"Getting Them Sober, volume 2" -----
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Ddigital-text&field-keywords=getting+them+sober+volume+2&x=7&y=18
"Getting Your Children Sober" --------
http://www.amazon.com/Getting-Your-Children-Sober-ebook/dp/B004QOB83E/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1304401191&sr=1-1
"Sex & the Sober Alcoholic" --------
http://www.amazon.com/Sex-the-Sober-Alcoholic-ebook/dp/B004YDPUB8/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&m=AG56TWVU5XWC2&s=digital-text&qid=1304401263&sr=1-1
D.)) For telephone consultations with Toby (Toby Drews, author, the "Getting Them Sober" books),
http://www.recoverycommunications.com/tele.html
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